The following is an exchange of correspondence between a customer and Irish Rail.

Gentlemen,

I have been riding trains daily for the last 2 years and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14 mile trip. I think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2000 years ago.

Yours truly, Patrick Finnegan.

Dear Mr Finnegan,

We received your letter regarding the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transport 2000 years ago was by foot

Yours sincerely, Larnrod Eireann.

Gentlemen,

I am in receipt of your letter and I think you are the one’s confused in your history. If you will refer to the Bible, Book of David, Chapter 9, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass. That, gentlemen is something I have not been able to do on your train in the last 2 years.

Yours truly, Patrick Finnegan