It’s Only A Matter Of Time!

White minorities still trying to have English recognised as UK’s third language.

Children from two-parent heterosexual families bullied in schools for being ‘different’. Tolerance urged.

Gay Marriages now overtake heterosexual marriages as preferred ‘lifestyle’ choice.

Manchester schoolgirl expelled for not wearing Burka: Being a Christian is no excuse says school. Sharia law must be enforced.

Britain now has ten Universities of Political Correctness. Professor Goldman of the London School of Political Correctness says there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop people saying what they think.

Britain’s deficit is £10 trillion and rising. Government declares return to surplus in 100 years which is 300 years ahead of time. Prime Minister Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through more immigration is the secret to success.

White ethnic Britains urged to take advantage of governments offer to assist their emigration to Asia.

Benefit cheats offered £2M compensation for disruption of lifestyle while under investigation.

Wall Street banks merge to form new super bank, Goldman Rothschild Ebeneezer Epstein Drescher (GREED): Huge bonuses paid to executives to celebrate launch.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Castro finally dies at age 112. Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

Post Office raises price of stamps to £18 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

After a ten year £75.8 billion study, commissioned by the Labour Party: Scientists prove diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of a British male drops to 18 stone.

Prisoners complain that gourmet meals and fine wines are hindering their ability to compete in their monthly trips abroad for The European Champions Prisons League matches.

Global cooling blamed for the Australian citrus crop failure for third consecutive year.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Victims to be held partly responsible for crime.

New law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2035 as lethal weapons.

Inland Revenue sets lowest tax rate in decades at 75 per cent.

Bradford won this years FA Cup Final beating the Hindu Hornets 4-1.