It’s Only A Matter Of Time!

White minorities still trying to have English recognised as UK’s third language.

Children from two-parent heterosexual families bullied in schools for being ‘different’. Tolerance urged.

Gay Marriages now overtake heterosexual marriages as preferred ‘lifestyle’ choice.

Manchester schoolgirl expelled for not wearing Burka: Being a Christian is no excuse says school. Sharia law must be enforced.

Britain now has ten Universities of Political Correctness. Professor Goldman of the London School of Political Correctness says there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop people saying what they think.

On the first day, she sadly packed her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table. By candle-light; she put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimps, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of champagne.

When she’d finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow center of the curtain rods.

In 1952, Armon M. Sweat, Jr., a member of the Texas House of Representatives, was asked about his position on whiskey. What follows is his exact answer (taken from the Political Archives of Texas ):

“If you mean whiskey, the devil’s brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean that evil drink that topples Christian men and women from the pinnacles of righteous and gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation, shame, despair, helplessness, and hopelessness, then, my friend, I am opposed to it with every fiber of my being.

He grasped me firmly, but gently, just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone. He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear, “just relax.”

Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves, slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn’t care. His touch was so experienced, so sure. When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage. And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply.

Whether you have any interest in golf or not, have a look at this newspaper report and I can guarantee it will make you smile. I can just imagine how this guy must have annoyed the pompous officials of the Royal and Ancient.

Les Dawson

Les Dawson (1931-1993) was raised in the Collyhurst district of Manchester and his poor working class background was the foundation for his humour when he later became famous.  He was noted for his deadpan jokes about his wife and mother-in-law. His exaggerated depiction of elderly northern women in the sketches with Roy Barraclough as ‘Cissie and Ada’ were as legendary as his misplaying of the piano.

He had a variety of jobs until he hit the big time as a world weary comedian and was in fact a very talented pianist. In later life he became an author with many books to his credit. A heavy smoker and drinker he died of a heart attack during a hospital check up.

The teacher graded it and the child brought it home. She returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be perfectly clear on my child’s homework illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint surrounded by male customers with money.

I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This drawing is of me selling a shovel.

Does This Behaviour Look Familiar To You?

I just had to post this one, it’s hilarious.

Dave Allen

Once considered Britains most controversial comedian, he once provoked outrage depicting the pope performing a striptease. He spent his comedy career upsetting the catholic church.  He often dressed as a catholic priest and mocked the church’s dominant position in Irish life. He was Britains first alternative comedian and was a fixture on British television for 40 years. Through the 1970′s and 1980′s, his shows pulled in millions of viewers.